The last straw...a long post so grab a drink!

I just finished an on-line assessment for an Assistant Retail Management position with T-Mobile. It's like the 3rd obstacle before getting the chance to meet and sit down with an (human?) interviewer. i've been corresponding so much by email with them that i doubt if really want to work for them. So 75 minutes after answering guestions with Strongly agree/disagree or multiple choice I got the chance to chime in with my feedback (heh heh). For instance, most of these corporations issue pre-employment screening tests which have built-in anwsers that are meant to make you get a lower score. I was adding up the price of options a customer might buy and got my total. However, when I went to choice the answer the correct total wasn't there. Strange but not surprising. I've caught on to this type of shit since the one time back in April when I registered with a temporary staffing agency (yea, I 've tried those) called Talenttree. After successfully completing a combined Word/Excel test I was suppose to spell check. I'm so used to utilizing Microsoft Word for my papers while in college that I figured it was too easy. How correct I was, after reviewing my work the Deborah, the counsultant pointed out that I didn't spell check for errors. I countered that it was impossible becaause I selected everything in the document and selected spell check. "Well, it's programmed to do that because we want to know that you can proofread the document manually before you use spell check." I looked at her and could only shake my head. You mean to tell me when one could simply perform the job much easily and accurately on a computer you assholes tweak it so that people performing well can get a lower score? That's sick. I felt like throwing her out the 21st floor window onto Lexington Avenue. Desparately searching for work I've been using any means to get out of work so I can call around to find any open positions. I've called over to Curious pictures, an animation company in the east village and even Saatchi & Saatchi to email my resume for consideration. Those shitheads at BBDO Worldwide wouldn't hire a recent graduate with a major in illustration because it would undermine their policy concerning people who illustrate: they work with only freelancers. These people talk to me over the phone never taking into consideration that I can design as well as copywrite for ads. I try hard as hell to get an interview so I can show them the variety of my work but still they want me to drop off my portfolio. I can't actively search for work around my employers (even when off the clock) so every chance I get I try to get out of that crowded, unorganized store which is no bigger than my room (seriously). Walking with cell phone in hand and money and post-its in the other I was off to get some trash bags for my job. Frantic and dialing, every other call I make only gets me someone's voice mail. Why do companies pay these people if they aren't going to be in their offices to pick up their phone? Work was exhusting this week and I doubt that I'll be back next week. At the end of my shift on Thursday I was suppose to go back into Brooklyn for my 5:00 appointment with my doctor. Instead, these assholes I work for stick me in a cab to take 7 boxes of bulk mail to W.29 off 9th Avenue. The opposite direction of my destination after work thus placing me further from making my appointment on time. So, upset, I cancelled my appointment reluctantly. I was suppose to leave work at 4:30 pm and make it the in less than 30 minutes by train, simply right? Wrong. Annoyed and wet with perspiration I then realised that I needed to pick up a presentation book for my appointment with a marketing agency on Friday. I was going to walk up to Canal to get one from Pearl after work but then realized my folly. Pissed, I walked from the 29th Street mail facility to the east village for this book. Once I got to the art store I was eager to see if the had what I needed, an 8x11.5 presentation book. I searched everywhere to find one for a cheaper price. The ones at Pearl were $16.oo but I was willing spend it in order to start my career and get more money. Desperate and angry at the events of that day I ganked one of the expensive $45.00 books. Now, I resolved a long time ago that I don't care much for stealing but I'm trying to make rent and save up enough to move into a new place. You gotta do what you gotta do to survive in this world. Afterward I walked down to Forbidden Planet to see what comics came in this week. Suddenly, I got a call from my advisor, Marcus who helped to provide me with money and guidance through college. Now that college is over he's gotten tight with the money. I expressed my displeasure with the job I held and gave my reasons for leaving it including the fact that they only pay every two weeks. He wasn't helpful at all telling me to look for work in places like Milwaukee and Cailfornia. If the economy's so bad and I can't get a satisfying position in New York what makes him think I can get one in these places? Besides, I'm not a fucking Bedouin, I can't just pick up and leave. I have a life in New York where there's opportunities abound. I can finally get a chance to act, study, and perform more here than where I was before. Shit, at least give me the phone number of one of your friends/acquaintances to inquire of work. Don't tell me how talented I am, talent won't get you anywhere alone. We all know that. Shit. Paris Hilton doesn't possess any so why do people insist this false assertion? Before I got off the phone I asked Marcus if he personally knew of anyone who is in a position they found through one of those search engines he suggested. Oh, no? Didn' think so. So now I'm back at square one, the shitty job. FUCK YOU MARCUS! I'm so sorry i bothered going through college. And to top it off the asshole I work with, Paul, noticed I came in 4 minutes late. This is before saying hello or me handing the change for the cab fare to the mail processing facility along with the paper work. When I told him the reason for being 4 minutes late he told me i was using it as an excuse. If the demands are the job tasks/responsibilities, and the rewards are the pay and benefits then I wouldn't give this position to a fucking immigrant. Listen, I realize there is an unrealistic demand/reward ratio that comes with many jobs but this takes the fucking cake! 4 minutes?! This isn't a generalization but why is it white people are so quick to notice when you're late to work but never when you stay late after your shift to complete their work? I wanted to bring up the fact that I missed my doctor's appointment because of that bulk mail fiasco but I didn't. When I responded that it's not an excuse and that 4 minutes really doen't affect the operation of business when by time I come in he hasn't even cleared out the sales from the day before. As soon as Jim, the owner steps through the door Paul says we have a "problem". White people, why is it that when a person of color dissents even going so far as backing up their statements you automatically have a PROBLEM? I offered Paul the chance to let me go if he for saw this as being a "problem" but was reluctant stating that I'm a pretty intelligent guy and I'm doing a great job. This "intelligent" thing. I've noticed a lot of times white people over age 35 use this word with me alot when what they really mean to say is articulate. But I digress. later on in the day after hauling boxes and machinery around downstairs in the sub-basement I was instructed by Paul to go tell Jim in the basement that the order for 50 boxes was coming soon. So,running downstairs i conveyed the message to Jim. Jim, in turn expressed concern because the building custodian was leaving early like he always does on Friday and he has the key to sideway elevator. Running back up the stairs and into the store, I told Paul between gasps what jim said. Paul is busy dealing with two customers' orders when I pass the same message detailing that the building custodian isn't going to start up the elevator and that Jim hopes he still has the publisher's phone number. Unable to concentrate on what I'm saying and what he's doing he keeps asking me if that is what Jim said. With two customers who just happened to be black men in front of him Paul proceeds to make a fool out of me: "______, you forget that I'm your boss. Relax, I have everything under control." Don't kill the messenger because Jim is really the concerned one here I'm thinking. I really couldn't give a shit about this business. Finally, the boxes arrived and I'm sent upstairs to the sidewalk to load them onto the elevator. The delivery guys with the boxes on the hand truck begin unloading the boxes and I follow suit. Soon Jim appears asking why are the boxes are arranged on the elevator as such and if we took a count. Mind you, this is a new thing for me and i would've counted them before I began stacking them on the elevator but I was concerned with getting the boxes downstairs and into the storage room. Paul tells me that we have to count 50 boxes. Musty, dirty and annoyed I help the delivery guys and Paul count the boxes remarking with sarcastic tone at the stupidity I'm dealing with for so little money. Paul is so obsessed with trying not to offend me so as not to lose my extra hands. Not much later after moving the boxes into the storage room he pulls me aside to explain the reason behind having me count the boxes "I trust that you will come up with the right amount" he said. "You're an intelligent guy and you've been doing a great job so far..." I realize by now that Paul seems to have brain envy. Later on in the shift Paul tells both Jason and I that since we only worked one day last week we won't be getting paid two weeks from now. Jason and I could only look at each other in disgust. At least I knew that we weren't going to get paid that day. Ok, people: if I'm SO intelligent and talented then why am I destined to be stuck at the bottom of life? I've grown so disillusioned with life that instead of considering suicide (my family doesn't have enough money to bury me) I'm going into business for myself as a criminal. I've surmised that the only way to make any money in New York is to do it illegally, Why not, politicians do it under the guise of government by awarding contracts to their friends and relatives. Everyones's always telling me to go into business for myself without realizing I need capital to start up my venture. It's time I started looking out for me. I'm going to a friend to find out if his supplier can hook me up with some weed for a nice price and I can sell it since I live so close to my alma mater. I'm going to need a night job of some sort to support myself. I've been thinking of becoming a male escort. Now before you become alarmed Stuart and I have spoken on this and he understands completely. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time I've had sex for cash. And what with the Republican National Conventiion coming into town later next month who knows how much those repressed bible-thumping losers would be willing to pay just to drink my piss out of a dog bowl. Time will only tell.

MY BOSSES ARE BLOOD-SUCKING ASSHOLES!!

My position at a Mail Boxes, Etc. knock-off sucks dog nuggets. I'm doing 3 times the work and only getting paid $7.00 an hour. One customer, who just happens to be an attorney, has a box there wanted me to open up his mail and fax the documents to him. Funnny, I don't remember being a legal secretary. They even offer curbside mail delivery to members' cars. Don't remember that being in the job description. Did I forget to mention no benefits included? Not even health insurance (I'm working across the street from Ground Zero for God's sake)! When I expressed interest in faxing out my resume to find some freelance work to help support my income my bosses got an attitude like I was trying to ditch them after only working for 2 days. I explained myself and my current situation. I even made a point of telling them I was doing it in their best interest because I want to stay in NY and they would be losing me in a month if I couldn't make enough. You know those money grubbing assholes made me pay $2.50 INSTEAD OF JUST SUPPORTING MY ABILITY TO KEEP MY BLACK ASS EMPLOYED AND OFF THE STREETS?!! What the FUCK? Did they think I was going to be living in a refrigerator box next door and eating catfood on the shitty salary they offer me? This isn't right, I've looked everywhere for a job (even at Pratt). And to top it off Stuart's going through car money trouble in Jersey. The world is fucking trip! When you're busy trying to better your position in life they want to keep you down because they're only concerned about their interests. I don't have to deal with employers that don't give a flying shit about their employees well being. I really need a solution fast before I do something unlawful and impulsive. More to come.

The Sunday before the 5th

I had nothing to look forward to after being dropped off by my boyfriend, Stuart . After a lengthy conversation concerning my financial status I just decided to sit in front of the computer and surf. Too bored for porn and too tired to check email I decided to start my own personal blog. Unsure if anyone wants to know about my personal life and its intricacies I left well enough alone, until now. "People who write blogs are just looking for attention from the unsuspecting anonymous public" I usually said to myself but then again so would politicians, rock stars, and serial killers. Guess in a way we're all looking for our 15 minutes. I'm just looking for a job. No, make that a career. Since I graduated back in May I haven't heard word from any of the prospective employers I sent resumes to. Stuart says that I'm not trying hard enough to find steady employment. I've told him I really don't see the reason for sending out a resume with a cover letter when you're only going to call the following week. Prospective employers have the information before them so it would be rude on their behalf not to call you even if it's to say "I got your resume, thank you". To consantly call an employer knowing they have the means to call you and express interest is hands down begging. I refuse to beg for a job that is open to all applicants, especially one starting at $8.00 an hour. But in the eyes of Stuart I think I'm better than everyone else to go about finding work the "correct" way. We debated for 4 hours why I should continue working at the shitty job I currently hold in Manhattan or any job for that matter that comes with too much responsibility and little pay. "Because you want to stay in New York," Stuart reminds me often. True, I really DON'T want to go back to Connecticut because it would be the death of me and my livelihood. Not to mention the idea of moving back in your mother after being away is SO Denise Huxtable but WITHOUT the cute kid and career husband. There's so much at stake that I want to scream when things don't go the way they should. Why did I bother finishing college if I was only going to become another kind of statistic without the chalk lines? I'm better off dead either way.