All Roads Lead Me Back To You

Today was da bomb! Not only did I get the opportunity to perform for a webvideo for the up-coming New York Comic-con I also got a weekend pass and met comic book legend Neal Adams! I really didn't know we were going to meet him. Maybe it's a good thing because I would have brought my portfolio -and then turned away. The only thing funnier than trying to break into the comic book industry is the fact that I run into those people when I least suspect it and often. What am I doing wrong? I really could be making my living as a comic book illustrator and storyboard artist. As we all know things don't always go according to plan. Maybe I could milk this gig a little further by sending a postcard with a sample of my work to Continuity Studios. Here's something else, I never knew Neal Adams owned the entire building on 39th St. where we shot the video. Guess you learn something new everyday.

I Choose To Be Happy in 2007

It's been 3 days into 2007 and I've come down to the conclusion that I may not have everything I desire but I have the choice to be happy. Although I experienced many life changing events last year (ie, losing my shitty job, unemployment, losing unemployment, challenging former employer's payroll company for unemployment benefits and succeeding, losing housing, and forced to going on public assistance) I still have no interest in making New Year's resolutions. Except this one: I have the choice to be and I will be happy. Recently, I read in a book (on psychology no less) that doing what makes you happy in life is a pagan belief. Contrast that with the judeo-christian idea of working for 40-some odd years only to receive a gold watch and/or a pension (if you're lucky). Left to spend the remainder of your days thinking of ways to make your children jealous of your idyllic life. Well if the former makes me a heathen I'm going back to living my life with a purpose. I'm going to pick myself back up and go for mine. I'm going to bleed every opportunity dry and absolutely fucking have an amazing time doing it. Like I said to auditor before my audition, "I Gotta Eat". Fuck having integrity and character that is becoming of a gentleman. A good half of you devils (not just white) clearly don't have any on display. I realized that this is a white man's world and I'm nothing more than a B.B.M. whose self-realization final caught up with him. What's a B.B.M. you may ask? B.B.M. stands for "Big Black Man" (a.k.a. B.B.B. the acronym for "Big Black Buck" or Brute) a theory I slowly realized on my own. Simply, people I encounter on a daily basis think my physical features sums up my functionality and very existance: that I'm only good for heavy lifting and fucking the shit out of someone with my big black penis. Utilitarian, I know (Original? I don't think so.) Think people, it was just over 30 years ago I was considered 3/5ths of a man. I clung to the false hope that people would see me an others like me as much more than the surface. Darryl believes that the reason I see myself as that is because I allowed people to objectify me. Would it be any different if I were asian and had people hit me up during tax time? I doubt it. Here I spent all this time and valuable money persuing an education and a career only to become a fucking cog in the machine known as retail? Or worst. WTF? I wish someone wiser had told me I was wasting my time trying to complete 14 credits a semester when I wasn't going to end up doing what interested me. College is so overrated. It's such an antiquated concept. I'm saying good-bye to retail and any customer service related positions. It wasn't so much the customers but the fat-ass corporations with policies and orders on high that make it seem like you're living in a fascist state. Companies like Crate&Barrel need to rethink their approach to the laborer who just spent 5-8 hours selling their shitty high-priced products only to have their coats searched by a rent-a-cop when they know damn well you can get the same merchandise from the $.99 store! Employees desperately need to be faithful to their employer only for fear of being homeless and eating cat food but that feeling is clearly not mutual. Case in point, Darryl used to work for the postal service before a recent change of jobs. His boss was a nasty bitch, he used mind games to get back at her. He and I have had this discussion because I've reached an impetus: I will no longer tolerate anyone's shit! Not even from an employer. My time as an employee of Pratt Institute has taught me well. I have no problem threatening a co-worker or supervisor with bodily harm if they so much as say an unkind word to me. And yes, I'm real subtle about it. No longer will I take on employment or duties that bore the living shit out of me or frustrates me. I know alot of laborers are tired of bosses that want to play 5th grade teacher hovering over your shoulder worried you might be spending too much time dotting your "i"s and "t"s. Fuck micromanaging! That shit went out with sweatshops and union busters. Gone from my life are the plastic smiles and the condescending managers that question my actions when they aren't even old enough to rent a fucking car. As of this week I am in the process of re-writing my resume with an objective that centers on a higher level of autonomy and mutual respect. Shit, I'm tired of living in fear that my next paycheck isn't going to cover my overdue bills. I can quit a job if it doesn't meet my standards because there are plenty more out there, it's just a matter of place and time. I step into 2007 with dignity and empowerment. I have learned that I have the power to limit those who trespass against me and my passions. I realize I have the power to say "no" to anything that compromises my own happiness. This is my life and I'm living it for me, no one else.