I NEED A CHANGE!!

Yesterday I called out sick. Sick of my boss and my job. I was determined to live my life to my own rhythm. On Monday I made a life-altering decision after my 30th birthday on Saturday. I attended an open-casting call for a new Beatles musical starring Salma Hayek. Set in the 60s/70s, the movie will be directed by Julie Taymor of "The Lion King". Although it is not a guarantee I am still elated that I decided to go to Casting Networks for the opportunity. Dressed in my best 70s drag, I took the plunge. For a long while now I have wanted to perform on stage and camera but never got the chance to persue it. Now that I'm a healthy 30 years old I feel the need to take risks, pursue my long witheld dreams. Performing is one of them. Whether it be singing, acting, or well, dancing. I want to do it all! Most of all I'd like to focus on starting a singing career. I have been told I have a good voice and that I should consider that as a career. I never really took it seriously. I don't know if it's low-self esteem or my unwillingness to deal with b.s. in the recording industry. I would like to go about establishing a successful performing career the best way I know how. Market myself. I plan on building a website devoted entirely to my many talents. By incorporating a comfortable visual experience with exiquisite information archietecture, and smooth vocals I believe I can get more hits from interested talents scouts and casting directors alike. I'm already considering hiring Dave, a friend who has worked with well-known photographers to take a couple of rolls of me for my headshots and compsheets. I believe the time and money I invest could be beneficial. I'm also not stopping there. I'm in the process of finding a new way to generate income, be through working from home as a freelancer to "entertaining" bored out-of town businessmen. Just kidding. The night before the casting call I bought take-out from one of the chinese restaurants on Myrtle Avenue. After my dinner I opened my fortune cookie that read: "May my faith always exceed my fears- the price is too great to go through life afraid." Simply put I've been afraid all of my life. I've been taking on menial positon, positions I didn't have much interest in just to survive financially without much thought to my real passions. When I joined the Prattstore as a manager I saw it as a job, nothing more. After all the abuse, humiliation, and trickle down blaming I realize it is time for me to pursue my true interests: creating and developing art, in any form. I can make the time to become a well-known vocalist just as I can express my perception visually to others. I am a communicator and that does not stop at the page; it continues through my emotions, body language, and voice. Funny, when I look back on it I was unaware of my own strengths. When I was a month into my position as shift coordinator my supervisior, Rose, commented on my approach to management. Where she was so used to yelling at employees, even to get their attention from the back of the store. "You can't get these people to do what you tell them using your voice," she stated. As if to say I was too soft or weak when clearly she had boneheaded people working for her. Such attacks on my manhood would not be the last. Instead of taking the insult lying down I should have countered", None of my vocal teachers have never encountered such a problem." Such negativity is so common place my friend Crystal quit today. She was fed up. Inspired, I have decided to follow suit. It's been 10 months and I feel I have enough experience as a manager to get a better position. But I don't want another job. I want to make a life for myself. I want a career. I'm multi-talented, determined, and strong. I am going to find a career that I can enjoy. Be it drawing action figures like I am doing now or working as an extra on filming productions. or both. I am going to make it as an artist and performer, even if it means bit parts in movies and commercials. My attitude has changed because I see the big picture. Life is for the living, what am I waiting for?